Kicking the Complaining Habit!!!
7 Steps to kicking that nasty habit of complaining (Yes, I had to do this too!)
1. Dwell only on what you can change
If you cannot change it, you cannot allow yourself to be burdened by it. You cannot change someone else, but you can change yourself. You may not be able to change your situation right now, but you can try and find ways to make it better.
Ecclesiastes 3:1 ESV
For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
2. Give Thanks to what you have
Find what you have in your life to be thankful for. Even if you have to dig deep. Take time to sit and think about what you have that provided comfort that day. Make it a habit to keep a post it pad in your purse. Jot down any chance you may experience to be thankful for.
Philippians 4:6-7 ESV
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
3. Think Positive
Easier said than done, I’ll tell you it took me at least a year to change this perspective. Give yourself time. The more pressure you put on yourself the more negative thoughts will consume your mind. Create a list of affirmations that you can say about yourself every day. It will change your perspective faster than you think! Put post its all over your world. (bathroom mirror, kitchen, tv, car etc)
1 Corinthians 15:51 ESV
Behold! I tell you a mystery. We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed,
4. Adapt to Change
Change is such a great thing if you think about it. It means that we don’t have to be who we don’t want to be. We can adapt to our surroundings or we can choose to adapt to the surroundings we dream of. Seek wisdom in all you do. If you love something, learn about it with all you have. You cannot change what you don’t put into motion. Speed bumps are there for your protection, so next time you are hit with something different that you are not used to, think about what you were doing before that and evaluate how to make it better. We can always improve! Pray and seek God’s wisdom every day.
2 Peter 3:9 ESV
The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.
5. Become more Assertive
Stand up for yourself and what you believe. If what you have to say is not helpful, true or necessary then it should not be said. When someone else is complaining around you, don’t join in. Politely excuse yourself from the conversation after turning it around to a positive nature. Being in financial aid has taught me a lot about negativity and complaining. Complaining is second nature to those who enter financial aid unfortunately. It has been difficult to listen to a lot of what is said both by employees and students. Remember you can only change yourself.
Ephesians 4:22-24 ESV
To put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.
6. Stop Judging Others
First, this is God’s place for judgment, not yours. Without knowing the full story of what someone else is going through, don’ t judge them for their mistakes, attitude, personality or reaction. I’m still working on my ability to be nice no matter the situation, however I find it is the hardest part of who I have been all my life. I’ve always been around negative people. Realizing this only recently has addressed my issues with my own vision. The judgments that I have said and done have been forgiven by God. If you find yourself judging others, please look deep inside yourself and see what you can do to change that which you may be judging. If someone is in a bad mood, please refrain from being rude toward them. Find a way to be kind toward them. It may be what they needed that day. A blessing can come in the shape of a smile.
Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister.
7. Be the Example
As Ghandi said it, “be the change you wish to see in the world”. Set the example by being the example. Yes, we all fall. We all fail. But learn from your mistakes and get back up! Don’t let disappointment or bad moods keep you there. By changing the way you react to circumstances you can lead a more positive and fulfilling life.
1 Timothy 4:12 ESV
12 Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.
Where will your abundance take you?
Does not have to take all of who we are.
You don’t have to work long hard hours to create a life that you don’t want to escape from.
God created us to love Him, focus on Him and serve Him.
There is nothing else in life we need to do.
But, what if I told you that while you are serving, following and focusing on Him, you can create your path?
God wants you to have a life which produces an abundance of fruits!
He doesn’t want you to stay where you are. He wants you to keep moving, keep growing and keep sharing His love.
Through my life I’ve realized that the more I help others the better I feel. Let me help you achieve the abundance that you seek. The abundance that you had no idea was available. The abundance that would allow you to be fruitful.
Join me on this journey.
This journey to learning a new way of living that will provide freedom and prosperity. We all need someone to learn from. Seek God first, then seek His people here to help you see His will for your life.
Join a free workshop that will show you exactly what I do and what you could do to obtain financial freedom. God is good. All the time.
www.abundantfaithforlife.com is our workshop link or click Join Now link below 🙂
When going through something difficult, we always tend to sit back and wonder why. Why did this happen? How did I get here? Why did I do those things? What was I thinking? Where do I go from here? Where is God?
I think you get the point.
Matthew 16:24 24Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.
Where do you turn when hard times hit? That is the question we need to ask ourselves. The best choice is to seek God first in all things.
Matthew 6:33 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
My Hard Times
I’ve found myself is hard times more than once, however each time has been a different answer. Sometimes I don’t even know if that answer came from God or from myself. There is always someone else who has it harder or who has been through the same thing as you. If you can connect with people who have gone through similar obstacles and are now leading a better life, reach out! Don’t be afraid to ask them to share their experience. If they choose not to, then move on to someone who will.
Things I’ve been through;
– childhood divorced parents
– childhood I witnessed the death of a young boy
– Young love (married a manipulative man at 20, received restraining order to separate, he verbally, physically and mentally abused me, held a gun or knife to my head several times, cheated on me, said nasty things to me, coerced me)
– Alcohol and sex abuse
– unwed mother (twice)
– financial instability
If you have been through any of these things also, or are going through anything now, let me know. If I can help point you in a direction that will take you where you need to be or just listen to you if that’s all you want, I hope you will reach out. See below.
Today, I’m 36, single mother to two wonderful children. My son is 12 and I have shared custody with his father. My daughter is 4, no father involved, she has cerebral palsy and epilepsy with feeding issues since birth. They are such amazing blessings! My kids are my world right now. I’m also a full-time employee and have two businesses on the side that I’m doing part-time.
What is your story?
What is it that brought you here to this site?
Do you seek to understand your own tribulations?
When hard times hit, do you spend time wallowing in depression or lashing out in anger or fear? (I’ve done both)
Pray first. Seek His voice. (I have to remind myself daily.) We are not separate from hard times. They must happen in order for God’s work to be fulfilled. Find the joy in all you do. Seek others as company but be sure they have a higher joy than you to help lift you up.
Please feel free to reach out to me as well. You can email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I will get back to you at my earliest opportunity. Praying for all affected by troubles.
Many people now are fighting. Fighting over what Jesus means to us today. Wrestling with doubts and demons.
Why do we need Jesus is a question I am sure some are asking right now.
Are you one of them?
Do you find yourself asking why doesn’t Jesus do this or why doesn’t he do that? Questioning why there is so much evil in the world?
To answer these questions, do you realize that if you had read the Bible, you would be able to answer them yourself?
How you ask? Read the 17 verses below regarding the fall of Satan. If you are asking why did God create angels knowing they would turn against Him, then you will see He is a loving God who wanted to find love in return. If you are with someone that you have made love you, then you know that is not true love and it will never feel right or fulfilling. In order to find true love, God created free will. It is Jesus who came to give us mercy for our free will has delivered us into sin and away from God. Jesus’ blood sacrifice is the only way to find forgiveness from God.
Ezekiel 28:13-19 ESV
You were in Eden, the garden of God; every precious stone was your covering, sardius, topaz, and diamond, beryl, onyx, and jasper, sapphire, emerald, and carbuncle; and crafted in gold were your settings and your engravings. On the day that you were created they were prepared. You were an anointed guardian cherub. I placed you; you were on the holy mountain of God; in the midst of the stones of fire you walked. You were blameless in your ways from the day you were created, till unrighteousness was found in you. In the abundance of your trade you were filled with violence in your midst, and you sinned; so I cast you as a profane thing from the mountain of God, and I destroyed you, O guardian cherub, from the midst of the stones of fire. Your heart was proud because of your beauty; you corrupted your wisdom for the sake of your splendor. I cast you to the ground; I exposed you before kings, to feast their eyes on you. …
Isaiah 14:12-15 ESV
“How you are fallen from heaven, O Day Star, son of Dawn! How you are cut down to the ground, you who laid the nations low! You said in your heart, ‘I will ascend to heaven; above the stars of God I will set my throne on high; I will sit on the mount of assembly in the far reaches of the north; I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will make myself like the Most High.’ But you are brought down to Sheol, to the far reaches of the pit.
Revelation 12:9 ESV
And the great dragon was thrown down, that ancient serpent, who is called the devil and Satan, the deceiver of the whole world—he was thrown down to the earth, and his angels were thrown down with him.
Luke 10:18 ESV
And he said to them, “I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven.
2 Peter 2:4 ESV
For if God did not spare angels when they sinned, but cast them into hell and committed them to chains of gloomy darkness to be kept until the judgment;
John 8:44 ESV
You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, and has nothing to do with the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies.
Then I saw an angel coming down from heaven, holding in his hand the key to the bottomless pit and a great chain. And he seized the dragon, that ancient serpent, who is the devil and Satan, and bound him for a thousand years, and threw him into the pit, and shut it and sealed it over him, so that he might not deceive the nations any longer, until the thousand years were ended. After that he must be released for a little while.
Matthew 25:41 ESV
“Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels.
Ezekiel 28:14-17 ESV
You were an anointed guardian cherub. I placed you; you were on the holy mountain of God; in the midst of the stones of fire you walked. You were blameless in your ways from the day you were created, till unrighteousness was found in you. In the abundance of your trade you were filled with violence in your midst, and you sinned; so I cast you as a profane thing from the mountain of God, and I destroyed you, O guardian cherub, from the midst of the stones of fire. Your heart was proud because of your beauty; you corrupted your wisdom for the sake of your splendor. I cast you to the ground; I exposed you before kings, to feast their eyes on you.
1 Peter 5:8-9 ESV
Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world.
Genesis 3:14 ESV
The Lord God said to the serpent, “Because you have done this, cursed are you above all livestock and above all beasts of the field; on your belly you shall go, and dust you shall eat all the days of your life.
Genesis 3:15 ESV
I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and her offspring; he shall bruise your head, and you shall bruise his heel.”
Matthew 23:28 ESV
So you also outwardly appear righteous to others, but within you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.
1 Timothy 3:6 ESV
He must not be a recent convert, or he may become puffed up with conceit and fall into the condemnation of the devil.
Matthew 23:27 ESV
“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs, which outwardly appear beautiful, but within are full of dead people’s bones and all uncleanness.
Matthew 23:13-15 ESV
“But woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you shut the kingdom of heaven in people’s faces. For you neither enter yourselves nor allow those who would enter to go in. Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you travel across sea and land to make a single proselyte, and when he becomes a proselyte, you make him twice as much a child of hell as yourselves.
Job 1:6-12 ESV
Now there was a day when the sons of God came to present themselves before the Lord, and Satan also came among them. The Lord said to Satan, “From where have you come?” Satan answered the Lord and said, “From going to and fro on the earth, and from walking up and down on it.” And the Lord said to Satan, “Have you considered my servant Job, that there is none like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, who fears God and turns away from evil?” Then Satan answered the Lord and said, “Does Job fear God for no reason? Have you not put a hedge around him and his house and all that he has, on every side? You have blessed the work of his hands, and his possessions have increased in the land. …
Now listen, I’m not saying that medication is completely unnecessary or that I never feel depressed now.
Please don’t think I speak louder than your doctor.
To me, medication is overrated with too many unknown side affects.
The stigma behind depression is that our hormones are off and that is what causes depression.
Learning to cope with an imbalanced hormonal mindset is the hardest thing to do and not everyone can do it. It is a choice. You and only you can make the choice of how you want to feel.
There is nothing wrong with feeling down, sad or unhappy.
I don’t want to disregard anyone’s emotions. That is however what they are, emotions. They are temporary. They don’t have to be continual. So you wake up feeling panicked about your day ahead. Take a breath, think it out, then say out loud that this is God’s will and do what you need to do. If you have a huge list ahead, just do one thing that you know can get done.
Don’t give up. You are loved. If you are wondering where the people are in your life that love you, reach out to someone close. Ask them to talk with you personally and if they are willing to do just that then they love you and care about what you have to say. If they are not willing to do that then they are not interested in caring about your feelings and you know not to go to them next time.
There are people put in your sphere of influence that will genuinely care and there are those that don’t. It is up to you to find out who they are and if there is no one, move on, find a new group or job or volunteer to make new connections. You don’t have to stay stuck in a life that was never meant for you.
God meant for you to be joyful, however He did not mean for this life to be easy. There is nothing easy in this life, however the burden is lightened when we give it to the only one who can handle everything, God.
I fight depression constantly but I have been reading and learning as much about myself and things that I am interested in to make a better life for my kids and I.
You can too!
I’m always available if you need a friend.
Psalm 34:18 18The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Luke 8:39: Return to your home, and declare how much God has done for you.” And he went away, proclaiming throughout the whole city how much Jesus had done for him.
When you find something special or a special deal, you want to share it with every one you meet. Right? Or am I alone here…?
This verse is stating to declare God’s power upon your life.
Not sure you feel as if God has done anything in your life? Are you a Christian? Did you ask Jesus to dwell in your heart? If not, please see my post for Why we need Jesus.
Ways to know if Jesus is in your heart;
1. A burning desire to grow
If you feel like you are missing something or that you want more out of life then you know Jesus is with you. I believe he pushes us to do more with our lives than be content and complacent. He wants us to keep moving toward Him. To bring others toward Him. In this life we will never find satisfaction. We will never be content. We will never have peace. In Him is where we find our contentment, our satisfaction and peace. For this world is full of evil and will one day be healed by the coming back of Jesus.
2. A great perseverance to please Him
If you feel constantly disappointed by others, be reminded that we are not here to please others. We are here to please God. To finish the job that Jesus started on this earth. He came down to show us the way. To be an example for us to follow. We should follow none but Him. To please none but Him.
As I sit at work, all I can think about is what can I do to help others? What will bring joy to their life? How could I ever be a source of joy for those who need it?
Life gets tough when we put our feelings in someone else’s hands.
Only we have the power to truly create happiness in or lives. God is more powerful than any single person. He works through each of us. If you do not believe it, say these words;
“There is more to life than me. I want to know what this is. Jesus is the only way to you Lord. I believe this now and ask that He dwell in me to show me joy I’ve never felt before. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”
Whether or not you felt anything. God is working in you. He knows your joy and knows your pain. There is nothing anyone else could do or say to you to change that. He will be there through your roller coaster ride of life.
You will fail and you will fumble but know that He is God and that He will always pick you back up. The pieces may hurt to be put back together but they are worth the pain.
Trials make us who He wants us to be. Are you going through something today that you feel is impossible? If so, reach out. Send me a comment below.
Your joy is found only in Christ. Seek Him first no matter how hard it may seem.
Really here, what does God say? Do you ever just sit and wonder what God is saying to you?
I’ve realized that it doesn’t matter what others do. They will answer to the Lord most high when it is their time. I cannot judge someone else for their sins when I know that I am a sinner.
So how do we direct others? Well, we do so in prayer and petition to God the most high to push them to a realization of what they are doing or how they are living is wrong. If that is His will, then it will be so.
We are not here to point out someone else’s sins. We are here to love one another just as Jesus did when he walked with our ancestors.
His death sealed the deal with God to cover our sins if we only ask Jesus into our hearts.
The power of this sacrifice is where we can find the courage to love others. It is not of our powers but of God’s. To love the unlovable.
So my prayer for you is to seek His love and you will find it easier to love others.
Do you feel like God is listening? I do and I know for a fact He is.